Hairbrushing

As a lifelong spanko, there are all those words that make me blush and cringe slightly, those that to the non-kink world, are totally neutral, normal words. I live in a football town and I occasionally hear that one team “spanked” the other team. Eugh. Punish, corner, discipline.. and also, cane, brush, wooden spoon, hairbrush, bathbrush. Whoof. Hairbrush seems most provocative to me – she was hairbrushed, get me my hairbrush, you’re getting a hairbrushing today – a most femininely threatening word.

I recently discovered this cartoon by an artist named Circe:

I love all the angles shown, the mom’s no-nonsense responses, the girl’s fox-y red pigtails, and the classic “Mom’s hairbrush”-looking hairbrush. But most importantly, I love this idea of literally “brushing” her bottom! I have actually seen this from this famous video and wondered about it a little (abrasion play is not my thing, but if it’s on the seat of my pants maybe it could be interesting..)

I can imagine that being lightly “brushed” and then spanked soundly on that top of that would be maddeningly painful. But I suppose the reverse order would be just as bad. (The panic in the girl’s eyes after her mother says “Maybe some bristle side will help you to think.” looks so genuine, as if she knows how bad it’s going to be and can’t do anything about it, all the while regretting everything she’s ever done to end up in this position!)

I dream of a tough lady taking me over her knee and give me a “hairbrushing.” I imagine so many of us do 😉

I have tested several hairbrushes on myself (of course) in the course of owning several different kinds and now give my personal rundown of each:

1. Conair Paddle brushes

This kind with the plastic backs, usually a soft gel handle, round or paddle shaped, these have a thuddy noise and feel to them (I guess the in between air between brushes and plastic part) so the sound is way worse than what it actually feels like, which is lightly stingy. With enough smacks, it would build up slowly to real sting, but the loud noise is simply distracting.

2. Conair Silicone brushes

These are the answer to those weak fake plastic brushes (is “fake plastic” an oxymoron?) – the solid plastic/silicone? detangling brush! It’s sturdier (to get out those deep tangles) and as loud as this one can be also, it delivers a sound sting from the beginning. I imagine that if I wasn’t in control of my own brush as I was experimenting, I would hope that this one was reserved for the worst punishments because it hurt pretty badly – especially on the back of the thighs or sit spots. OUCH.

3. Wooden/Bamboo brushes

Booo. How can something so simple be so hard to perfect? The common wooden hairbrushes I see a lot these days are those multi-toned bamboo or “natural” wood kinds. I guess they don’t make them like they used to (supposedly, during those days when ladies were regularly spanked with a hairbrush by their mothers? I still can’t really picture this for real :p), because I have broken several of these spanking myself lol. And I don’t think I even did it that hard… in any case, these brushes are not really trustworthy enough to deliver a proper punishment. Admittedly, the sting was stingy while the wood lasted.

4. Styling hairbrush

These narrow kinds function more like a slim bathbrush, or a thick cane, I suppose, and definitely hurt a lot, but a bit tiring to swing, if that makes sense. Lots of little motions needed to achieve a deep sting – but still pretty effective.

5. The Hairbrush of my Dreams

This style of wooden hairbrush, usually boar bristle/nylon type, is on my wish list to try, and I am sure that it would be my “favorite” as it looks to function basically as a small bath brush. It has a rounded, womanly head, it’s wooden and solid, it looks kind of retro in a way with the rough bristles, and it’s small enough to be carried around. I don’t need a brush like this for my hair, so I’ve never bought it!

I’m still not sure how much I can “take” since I’ve never been spanked by a real spanko, but I am pretty sure a punishment hairbrushing – plastic or wooden, all over the bottom, including the backs of thighs – would make me beg for mercy, in a real “I really, really don’t ever want to do that ever again” sort of way. Still in search for my mama-mistress-F/f woman of my dreams 🙂

Dad types

All my spanking fantasies did indeed start off with wanting to be spanked by men, specifically very burly, strong, dad types. I was an obedient and normally well-behaved child, rarely got into major trouble, and definitely didn’t push boundaries. But in my heart, somewhere in my fledgling spanko soul, I had a fantasy about “mouthing off” or “talking back” to some man in a position of power.

I don’t think I’ve ever done it before – not to a teacher, not to parents or bosses, definitely not to cops or security guards or anyone in any position of authority. I also find it disrespectful and hurtful to be intentionally rude and cutting when there are better ways to express myself or get around the problem. But that is my logical side talking. In my fantasies, I was a cute but sassy girl, a little princess who got away with murder, a brat. The consequence to my bad attitude and disrespect wouldn’t be violence, jailtime, being fired, suspended, expelled, or despised – it was simply a quick trip over someone’s knee, and then forgiveness.

I would replay in my mind over and over, sometimes not even really getting to the spanking part – just the looks, the reminders, the warnings. I wanted this girl inside my head, who was also me at the same time, to get what was coming to her. This girl who would say whatever she wanted, confidently and flippantly, who threw tantrums without fear, who didn’t care what she looked like or what people thought, I wanted her to be taken firmly by the arm by a man who could probably snap her in half if he wanted, flipped over his knee in complete humiliation, and spanked until her pride could no longer fight the sting and pain of the present moment. Afterwards, he is still somewhat rough with her – “did you learn your lesson?” – and she is humbled, just for that brief moment. Because even after that, after the sting of it fades, she is still her bold and brassy and loveable self. She still pushes his patience, and still does all the bad things she knows she is not supposed to. Because she is not innately afraid of him – despite the potential of being spanked.

I guess you can tell why I wanted to be that girl. I was never a cheeky, saucy, insolent type; I was overly cautious and nervous and sensitive. Fear ran my life. I wished I could be like her – but also not have to face real-life consequences.

Any and all fictional TV and movie characters who were stern, dark and mysterious, stoic, or quietly dominating were objects of my dad-type fantasies. I wasn’t into younger guys – how could they possibly muster the type of strictness that could control such a bratty princess? It had to be an older man.

From a man, I don’t really like a very long drawn-out discipline process – just brute force, over the knee, no-nonsense, flailing, shock, embarrassment, heavy-handed, panties back up, very quick. After all, I would never be able to win over his strength. With women, it’s more of a humiliating factor – with men, it’s the shock and embarrassment. It all makes sense in my mind!

There was a girl in my high school who had family troubles, and she developed a close mentor relationship with her math teacher. I think eventually she was either fostered by him, or allowed to live there, I don’t remember all the details. Of course, the rumors started about him molesting her, grooming her, taking advantage of her, but I think in the end, it turned out to be a genuine relationship and it wasn’t just him and her alone in his house, it was his whole family (the teacher, his wife, and younger daughter) who had taken her in. Eventually, the girl went back to her own family, but for those couple months or so, she needed to get away from the mess.

During that time, my greatest fantasy was that something like that happening to me – me being fostered by a stepfather or some other older male figure, living there under his rules, and being punished by him by spanking. The one I went to over and over was getting bad grades or not doing homework (me in real life, of course, got pretty good grades, blah, blah, boring) and his rules would be that I got a hard spanking, then had to sit on my sore bottom to finish my homework. Of course, I was about 15-17 in these fantasies, so I’d laugh at him, not take him seriously, but he would be dead serious, and I’d go over his lap, rolling my eyes like, “fine, do what you want,” and then realize that he’s yanking my pants down, realize it actually hurts a lot, be thoroughly spanked like a little girl, and completely embarrassed. Then the next time I come home with bad grades, I’d dread showing him because I knew a spanking was coming. (I can’t imagine in my real life, at that age, being threatened with or actually spanked over the knee by anyone – it would have been beyond horrible… but you know how these fantasies are.)

I still get that shiver around certain people – there are just some certain people who evoke that “daddy” aura, even if they aren’t romantic partners. Those who know know, of course 🙂 I haven’t felt that in a while, though, I’m not sure why. My preferences and fantasies and interests change day by day. You would think this would have happened when I was younger and didn’t know anything… but it happens more now more than ever, as I started to feel comfortable with my identity. Maybe I don’t really know myself as well as I thought.

Mom types

I’m back! And these days, I am very much into the Mama-Mom-maternal-types. Chalk it up to some recent spankingtube videos but it’s driving me crazy! I can’t seem to get enough, but there just aren’t many women out there who identify purely as an older woman/mommy/disciplinarian/spanker.

Getting naked in front of a man is nothing very exciting to me – it’s natural and freeing and beautiful. But getting naked in front of another woman is a little scary… and having my pants and undies pulled down in front of another woman in a punishment setting? Completely humiliating.

Someday I’ll find myself bottoms-up over a very angry woman’s lap and experience that unbearable sting and embarrassment and I’ll wonder why I ever wanted this. But for now, it seems to be the only thing missing in my life. It can’t be just a spanking though, which is a reason I don’t seek out paying services. I would prefer to actually develop some kind of relationship or friendship with my disciplinarian, not just the experience. It’s very hard to find. Most dominant women seem to want submissive men, not other women, or they tend to include an element of sex (orgasm control, teasing, Mmlg, bondage) that I am not interested in.

Any spanking purists out there? A true maternal, disciplinarian type? 🙂

Over the Knee

But actually, it’s over the LAP and that’s really what makes it so personal and warm 🙂 I imagine that unless you find a particularly Amazonian woman + petite woman combo, most of us would be fairly average sized and matched up with other average sized people. It wouldn’t be difficult to wriggle out of an OTK position or really, just straight-up refuse to do it. But in this type of relationship we enjoy, one of us is choosing to submit to being in this very vulnerable, sensual, embarrassing position and that is incredibly, undeniably HOT.

I especially enjoy watching when someone locks their leg around the spankee’s legs to prevent them from moving – women have such surprisingly great thigh and leg strength, don’t they? Bare ass up in the air, a flurry of stinging slaps, the humiliation of being in this position at all – just thinking about it makes me blush.

There was a video I saw once – and wish I could find it again but I can’t! Very sad 😦 – of a busty Mama type, her submissive/little, and someone filming them off-camera, in an amateur setup. Very realistic and kind of shaky sometimes. In a dimmed apartment living room, Mama sternly tells her little to “get over my knee, you know the drill” and she does. She yanks her pants and underwear down and in this bare bottom state, she starts lecturing her – I can’t remember what it was about but maybe a 2 full minutes of scolding with the little only responding with “Yes, Mama” or “No, ma’am.” The humiliation! Her spanking hadn’t even started and her voice started trembling, from the anticipation and fear of the spanking itself, the embarrassment of having her butt bared in the middle of the living room, and her Mama’s voice scolding above her somewhere and probably looking at this bare butt. Then the spanking starts and by the end, Mama says, “How embarrassing, having to get spanked in front of people. Did you learn your lesson?” And the little tearfully says, “Yes, ma’am” and the camera shakes because the person is giggling.

This woman didn’t use any force, didn’t even really have to restrain her, and wasn’t sexual or teasing in any way. My kind of woman! Whatever the misdeed was, I am sure the humiliation of all of this would have prevented me from trying her patience again. I wish I could find that video again but I am fairly sure this couple dissolved and they were all deleted. That’s okay, though. In my fantasies and writings, this scene will live on 🙂

Where are the men?

All in my inbox for Fetlife and IG apparently :p

I identify as straight, technically speaking, so I do love all you men and your manly ways lol. I have been spanked by men before, mostly by boyfriends who occasionally indulged my requests and fantasies (but never by a fellow spanko or a naturally dominant personality, I’ll give you that.) The reason I don’t really seek out male spankers at this time is because I honestly know what it feels like. I am a not-that-strong woman with poor upper body strength – if a man wants to force me over his knee and spank me, he’ll be able to do it. 100%. Even if I fight back with all my might, I know that I’ll never “win” or be able to struggle out of it. And even if he demands a kind of submission from me that would make me get over his knee myself, it’s done under the threat of his physical dominance and an underlying fear of it, basically.

Don’t get me wrong – I love being manhandled. But for my current spanking needs, I need a woman’s touch! A woman’s cruelty, I should say. Typically speaking, I’m not going to fear a woman’s physical strength – it’s more about her ability to control and intimidate me in psychological or emotional ways. I hate mean girls – but I love mean girls 🙂 So please understand – and please respect my preferences.

Implements

I have my “preferred” implements – which, to be completely realistic, I shouldn’t have at all, this should be left up to the top’s decisions, but I just know what I like and don’t like 🙂

First “favorite” would definitely be the wooden spoon.

There are light flimsy ones that really don’t have much of an impact (a weird, mild annoying sting that is more noise than sensation) but the somewhat heavy duty style ones are the ones I like! It also contributes to the more traditional and in-the-moment, grab-what-you-can type scenario, especially in a F/f dynamic. In the same vein, I like rubber spatulas as well, which has a harsher sting and also a spontaneous kitchen implement thing 🙂

Second would be the hairbrush, though the type can vary.

Sometimes if it gets too heavy, it’ll feel more “bruise-y” or thud-y than sting-y which I dislike very much. But it’s very much that motherly, sisterly, matronly, headmistress-y feel of being sent to your room, waiting for your punishment, and having her calmly take out the hairbrush that she uses every day for non-spanking related purposes – very scary and serious.

I guess you can tell I prefer sting-y feelings – not heavy or bruising type implements like a paddle or belt – because I feel like it really drives home the point more. A bruise that I can feel the next day reminds me more of a hard workout than a rug-burn sensation that lasts and pricks and stings while sitting. A stinging bottom is not something that would ever occur “naturally” if that makes sense :p

Third implement would be the switch or cane.

I have never felt this before (pretty difficult to cane my own self haha) but I can imagine the burn of it. I picture this would be used for much more serious offenses just because of how much it hurts. I think it could also bruise if used on the same spot and heavy-handedly. I’d love (hate) to experience it someday.

And fourth would be the flat slipper/sandal.

Also a type of spontaneous implement, but with the flexibility and plastic-y sting of a floppy paddle. A woman wearing a pair of sandals and then suddenly using those same shoes to punish me is so hot! She is a walking danger lol – anything can be used to supplement her swings and slaps.

The rest – hand, paddle, martinet, whips, loopy things – are not of any interest to me. Well, hand spankings would be lovely in theory but to be honest, I am always, constantly worried that the spanker’s hand would hurt 😦 I have read many times that it doesn’t hurt them as much as it would be hurting the spankee… but it still distracts me! I feel bad. I feel like an implement would be better for everyone. And paddles and other spanking-specific instruments take me out of the mood, really. It feels planned, it’s literally purchased or created, and it doesn’t feel as natural…. natural is so important to me 🙂

Girls, girls, girls

I think I am one of those bi-curious/bisexual girls that I think the LGBTQ community probably does not like – wishy-washy, fleeting, gay-for-the-stay, depending on the situation and my mood and horniness. To be honest, I am not yet educated enough on this topic to pretend to know what the stereotypes are, so I hope I don’t write anything offensive.

So I don’t know the proper labels or names, but I do know that I love women and love to have relationships and friendships with them. And kink-wise, I have fantasized about 3 different types of women spanking me:

1. The extremely domineering, borderline cruel dominant woman (some sexual stuff)
2. The strict but motherly figure (totally non-sexual, even if the acts are inherently sexual)
3. The switch-y femme girlfriend (lots of sexual stuff)

To be clear, I am just not into mistress/slave type of dynamics – to me, it’s unnatural and awkward and I prefer all my spanking situations to be completely “natural.” The most I can imagine myself doing is addressing my top as “Ma’am” but this would feel normal to me, like I’d call any woman of authority in the real world as ma’am.

For the first type, I envision someone who is technically a friend, so we can talk about normal friend stuff, but I am clearly submissive to her in subtle ways – she is more of a mentor, older sister, some sort of senior ranking person. I can picture her being aggressive, bitchy, almost rude and mean to me, and I would have to find ways to deal with that, and more importantly, she would spank me viciously for perceived misbehavior and disobedience in our daily conversations and interactions. My preferred implements are wooden spoon, switch/cane, small hairbrush, or any kind of flat, stingy thing (like a spatula) – so it’s like we can be friends, but I can never been too casual with her because she has this upper hand on me.

• My most recent fantasies with Type 1: we are hanging out, eating, chatting, maybe shopping at Target, pretty normal day, when I start to annoy or irritate her for some reason. Instead of backing down, I keep it up, and we cut the day short – she says she’s had enough. We head back to the car. In the car, there are her disciplinary weapons for immediate correction. I protest – this is a public place! – but she assures me that the parking lot is empty, windows are tinted, and it doesn’t matter if it’s a public place. She sits in the back seat, I crawl in slowly next to her. She explains to me – you’re going to get a spanking right now because I won’t tolerate that type of language/behavior just because we’re out in public – get over my knee right now. I’m embarrassed and scared but I go over her knee, she pulls down my underwear and pants together at once, leaving me bare to the world, and she spanks me hard with whatever tool she had hidden in her car. It’s difficult to kick and squirm in the small space of the backseat – if she locks my legs in hers, I’m pretty much immobilized. Barely any kind of warm-up and it’s not a long, drawn-out session, just fast and hard to make her point, maybe 5 minutes tops – a “real” adult punishment. Sometimes I imagine she would also put a butt plug in me for good measure at the end (I really don’t like them… but that will be a longer blog post later), but in any case, when the punishment is over, she pulls my pants back up quickly, she is still stern with me – now get back in the front seat – and I have to sit on that hot burning bottom until we get back home. And back home… who knows what else could happen? I might just get a harsh scolding, she will forgive me, and we move on from the day. Or she may make me bare my bottom for some cornertime reflection and later put lotion on my sorry butt. It might have been a more serious issue and she makes me take more licks with a cane or switch. I don’t have the ability to decide – it will be up to her to decide for both of us what is enough and what is appropriate for the situation. I imagine that this dynamic involves some sexual elements to it so faceslapping, pinching my nipples, making me lick or suck hers, or buttplugging are all possible scenarios as well.

Type 2, the motherly figure – this is the newest fantasy for me since I was never really into the ABDL stuff, and I’m still not, but I enjoy spankingtoons very, very much. It’s just the diapers and babying images don’t do anything for me. I love her drawings of the full-figured, older, huge-bosomed lady taking a girl in hand (I am not thin, but definitely not an hourglass, busty type so I really appreciate someone who looks different than me). I imagine I could entrust her with secrets and advice, a strong female hand, someone who is naturally maternal and has strong boundaries. So of course with her, though we have a mother/daughter type relationship, I can expect that spankings and discipline are a part of that bond if I cross the line or do something wrong – but it would be completely un-sexual. I imagine OTK spankings, but also writing lines, kneeling on rice, figging, or mouthsoaping. Figging is obviously a sexual thing, but I imagine it with her because it’s such a painful and deliberate act that I think I would just consider it a punishment, not sensual.

• My fantasies with Type 2: I don’t tend to be very sassy or rude, but some days I could be, especially if I’m near my period. The mother figure (I don’t know what I’d like to call her – mom and mommy are a little too ABDL for me, but mama might be okay? Still not quite sure) would decide I need to be punished, make me wait in the room while she decides what she wants to do with me, is very decisive about pulling my pants down or makes me do it myself, spanks long and hard, lecturing and scolding (SO embarrassing to have to respond with a bare bottom in someone else’s face), and makes sure I “learned my lesson.” No sexual stimulation involved at all whatsoever, no touching or caressing, and definitely no relieving myself or acknowledgement of my wetness. Cornertime in a living room or kitchen, some kind of open space in a house or hotel room, would be the most realistic situation, especially if she continues to wash dishes, watch TV, or do something normal while I’m forced to deal with the embarrassing bare-ness alone.

And the last type, we would just have fun together as best friends 🙂 I wish I had a female friend who was actually my BFF but we could explore our bodies together, pet and caress and touch each other, cuddle and kiss, go on dates that double as normal friend dates. She would have to be the more dominant one and want to punish me, slap me, and be more physically aggressive, but on her command, I would be willing to switch lightly and give her a playful spanking – but really, only if she wanted it. I’m not dominant at all. I honestly see this relationship/friendship lasting the longest, especially if she was fluid/bi-curious like me, so we could just be best friends who know each other in the deepest ways, but free to date men or other people as well.

• My fantasies with Type 3: We go out for brunch or a romantically lit dinner, get a little drunk, touch-feely, but to anyone else watching, we just look like a couple of best friends out on the town. Back home, we kiss, we have fun, and it’s sleepover time. Best girl friends – with benefits.

I don’t think it’s too late to find these women in my life, and for us to explore together. As a 30-something, I wish I was a 20-something (for other reasons as well) so I could have enjoyed more of my kinks and fantasies but I guess now is better than ever!

Beginnings

I have been one of those lifelong spankos (looking up the word “spanking” in the dictionary, reading certain Laura Ingalls Wilder passages over and over, becoming wide-eyed and strangely embarrassed at any punishment scenes that popped up on TV, that whole typical story) and somehow, I don’t think I was ever that ashamed of it. I knew that it was probably weird and I would never share it with friends, but I can’t recall a time I tried to forcibly suppress it or ignore it – maybe because I’m a Millennial and I was able to find traces of a spanking community online when I was very, very young. (Too young, definitely.) Oh, so there are other people out there, oh, so this isn’t that bad, oh, so maybe when I’m older, I can find some friends or a boyfriend or something and try this out…

I turned 31 this year and even though I’ve seen thousands of videos and photos and fantasized in my head over and over, I am still fairly inexperienced. The occasional boyfriend who would indulge me, the feel of a long-handled spoon or bath brush on my own ass, administered by me in a quiet room – but never a “real” experience or relationship based on a mutual understanding. I could have been more proactive, I guess, but somehow, it never became a priority despite the fact that it dominated my nightly thoughts. Maybe it was a shame deeper than I was willing to admit, or maybe just fear and anxiety about opening up to someone. It’s just so intimate.

My preferences and fantasies have evolved quite a lot since I was young, and now I want to explore and share and find my place in the community. The intimacy thrills me. There was always a part of me that felt like I was hiding a large part of my identity – and being naturally a soft-spoken, private person, this wasn’t unusual – but I wish I can share my true self for once. So I’m going to write about it now.

I debated which language I would write this in. For these fantasies, which started out of stern men in American movies and cartoons of housewives in aprons flying over knees, I needed to be in English. My other side (longer story for another time) is a different beast, and needs care and understanding in a different way.

For now, all my spanking needs and preferences, all my deepest fantasies and ideas and curiosities will be recorded here!